Hurts so good...Diary of a not so mad Black woman.
Saturday, May 20, 2023
Whoa it's 20fucking23
Brooooo! Last time I came back to this was 2018. Feels like 20 years ago rather than 5. To say a lot has happened since 2018 is an understatement wouldn't you say?
It's crazy man. Like sitting here seeing a blog I forgot about (again) written before things really started falling apart.
2020 was a hell of a year for the world. Not for me though. I'd been training my whole life for mandatory isolation. The downside? I was an "essential worker" lol. I still went to work while my roommate who had a corporate job sat at home collecting $600 checks every week and Amazon packages and Uber Eats orders everyday.
I'm not bitter just jealous lol.
I got married in 2020. No one is more surprised than me.
I work a job I actually don't mind, making fairly decent money for the few hours I work.
It would appear despite the state of things I am still happy. Imagine that.
Hopefully in another 5-6 years I will feel the same. Maybe it won't take me that long to remember this blog.
I forgot about this blog, I will admit. We still here, y'all. We still alive. The world is still spinning unless you're a flat earther then it's suspended in space somehow. 6 years from my last post and many things have changed while just as many things stayed the same. I'm grateful for it all despite still not knowing what the hell I'm doing. Lol. It's all good though. If I made it this far, I can make it even further. I think the biggest change in my life is my love for shoujo manga that I've developed within the last couple of years. I think that's a wonderful addition to my life, tbh. Overall, the not so angry black girl is not angry in the least. At least not today. Free smiles on deck for anyone who needs one. 😊
So, we have made it to 2012. Are you just as surprised as I am? Just kidding. I'm not surprised at all. Everybody knows the shit ain't going to hit the fan til December. I'm not kidding about that one. It may not be the end of the world but something is going to happen...or maybe it will just be the end of the world. Who knows! I'm all for the alleged "paradigm shift" but I am also not opposed to the world ending in flames..at least I won't have to worry about all these damn Bills that's been creepy on me over the years. What I really think is going to happen is a solar flare that would fuck up the Earth's magnetic field in such a way that it will wipe out all of our electricity and wireless waves. Now that will truly be an apocalypse. Did you know the original meaning of the word apocalypse is to reveal or uncover? Now its synonymous to the End of Days. All the same I suppose. It will be the end of an age. An age consists of days....
Ah, but none if it really matters, does it? I still got to go to my job that I hate( but love in a all-my-bills-are-being-paid-by this-place kind of way) tonight and every other night this week. Hard to focus on the "what ifs" when the "what's now" is right in front of me. But I'm trying to stay cheerful. No one else seems to be and I always got to be the opposite of everyone else. Keeps things balanced and interesting
Anywho, its 2:22! This is always the time I tell people I love them. Something silly I do to give my minutes more meaning. Oh, Happy Valentine's Day...I just might be the only girl in a 50 mile radius with a boyfriend who truly doesn't care. I like to pick my own days to celebrate things instead of these holidays that cost so much money and have origins that is so different from what we do to celebrate them. I do love the candy though....they only come out once a year after all...I might just go out and get some...LOL..how sad I would a look! A girl buying herself candy on V Day...LOL...I'll end up on someone's blog of ridicule...maybe I won't get any candy.. .
I got off track there. I was going to say that I may make the 22 and the 29th some personal holiday. Maybe the 22 will be watch your favorite anime day...I better go ahead and ask for them off. Its not a real holiday if you go to work
So...its been a few months...Here is the rundown. My life is falling apart, and by falling apart I mean everything sucks, and by everything sucks I mean I am falling into a pit of despair, and by that I mean, everything is fine I am just dealing with it. lol...but really. WTF does a girl have to do to be happy and well adjusted in this damn world?
I got fired from my second job yesterday and I couldn't be happier. I cannot stop smiling, giggling and relishing in all this extra time that I have. It is most excellent. Now, I must truly get my art shit poppin', as my man would say. But its so hard to force creativity....
Anyway, I thought it prudent that I share the good news. Have a drink on me. You have to pay for it though...funds are low.
White conservatives (namely Sean Hannity, Karl Rove, Neil Monroe and many others) are still classifying all hip hop as negative and violent. How ignorant to our culture they are. With this blow up over the White House inviting Common for a poetry reading, they are effectually and irrevocably distancing themselves from us and who we are. Not that Common is our beacon of truth and ray of light or anything like that. But if you are a hip hop lover and know that there is a diffence between that and rap, then you know that it is absolutely ridiculous to call Common a "thug" and refer to his work as anything but a realistic yet positive eye into the not so negative aspects of black culture. And they slam it as though its that other bullshit that I cannot stand. That music that paints us as the ignorant individuals they want us to be. Read these articles and see how they slam him for a poem he read 4 years ago. They don't even try to pull out ANY of his other work for comparison. Why is that? Look him up and see for yourself. Lets just say it would not back up their remarks.
"Here’s a sample of Common’s work, transcribed from a 2007 video with 837,613 viewers on YouTube. Students, please compare and contrast the two poems. You’ll get extra credit for counting the death threats. There is no extra credit for identifying spelling errors. By the way, ‘Uzi’ is slang for a compact machine gun"
Actually, Mr. Monroe, the term Uzi IS not slang but the actual name of a sub machine gun named after the designer, Uziel Gal. Idiot.
And here is my contribution to those who don't know what Common is about.
And lyrics for those who can't keep up with those rappers.
Searchin for a love, throughout the ghetto Young girls is thick, righteousness is narrow I got my third, eye on the sparrow Want my peoples straight and rock sweet apparrel The mother of my child, we not together Baby it's your back, I got forever As the weather, talks to us Him rockin the Holy Spirit walks through us The blunted eyes of the youth search for a guide A thug is a lost man in disguise The rise and fall, of a nation, even when the buildings tumble I still stand tall, I walk through the valley, wit a life preserver Feelin at times, that I might just murder Yo but that aint what I was sent for I want folks to say his life it meant more Than any car, any rock, or any broad He found Geto Heaven in himself and God
Love, your happiness don't begin wit a man Strong woman, why should you depend on a man I understand you want a man that's resourceful If he pay your bills, he feel like he bought you Talkin to a friend, about what love is Her man didn't love her, cuz he didn't love his Hugged her from afar, said what I felt You never find a man, till you find yourself Time helps mistakes, you can learn from Cuz one man fucked up men you shouldn't turn from You want a certain type of guy, gotta reach a certain point too At the destination, a king will annoint you Goin through the storm, many bodies stay warm That relationship died, for you to be born, you worth more Than anything you could cop in a store For you to grow he had to go so what you stoppin him for Not even I could ignore bein alone it's hard Find heaven in yourself and God
This music is so much bigger than me As far as happy, yo it's like a trigger to me Dealin with crab rappers, and groupie broads Record execs, at times it do be hard But to choose words, and be heard across waters Doin something you like to support daughters Keepin your guys who collectin court orders Conveyin messages that the ancestors brought us Thought of things to say to become the end thing for the day Somehow, that didn't seem the way for me to make it Music is a gift that is sacred I hope you didn't use it hopin you could grow to it Whether servin or a surgeon, you gon go through it Can't imagine goin through it, without soul music It's like Donnie ?half? helped me see Lonnie's ?fath? On my behalf, let's take whole steps to a ?ho tep? And show depth, as we make people nod Find heaven in this music and God Find heaven in this music and God Find heaven in this music and God
GET OVER YOURSELVES WHITE CONSERVATIVES WHO FEEL THE WAY HANNITY AND ROVE FEEL. WE ARE BIGGER THAN THUGS AND VIOLENCE. WE ARE MORE THAN STREETS AND IGNORANCE. CHOOSE TO IGNORE THAT IS CHOOSING TO IGNORE US.
